March 4, 2013 by Andrew Van der Burgt
How does a Man learn to be a Man? Holy Smokes is about building better men, this week we explored how we as men are shaped. We watched another chapter from “Stepping Up”. This video discussed “when does a boy becomes a man”, Mentors, and being a Patriarch.
We started with the discussion of when does a boy become a man…..
We had some mixed perspectives on when a boy becomes a man. Some identified a crisis of meaning in one’s life as a point when a boy becomes a man. Some mentioned a perspective when puts others concerns before their own. Some definitions of becoming a man were based on one’s responsibilities. When do you think a boy becomes a men?
Here is a video of a individual in Atlanta that took steps to fill a need in his community and Mentor young men. We discussed in our group that we need to be more intentional about being role models in environments that are important to us individually.
Next on the discussion were Mentors and the role they play in shaping us into men. The Mentors in our life came from many different areas. Father’s, Teacher’s, Coaches and Scout leaders, our Mentors came from a lot of areas. Our conversation got into a concept from the video, having a number of Mentors in our life, not the stereotypical Mentor (an experienced more senior individual we would look up to) but having peers that have strengths in areas we would like to develop. The analogy given in the video that many referred to was the idea of how iron sharpens iron. Men make Men “sharper”. The butting of heads makes one better. Someone being present to help us identify our blind spot was a concept discussed. Someone that can push us be on our confront zone. Someone that can make us better, a Mentor.
The last part of the video spoke to Patriarch’s. The example discussed was Truett Cathy the founder of Chick Fil A. Mr. Cathy’s son’s Dan and Bubba Cathy discussed their father’s leadership and consistent behavior as a business person, father and Sunday school teacher. The video went on to talk about how many strong men get to a point in their life and trade in the sword they have been battling with to make the world a better place for a 9-iron and go into retirement. The concept of your teaching and influencing others does not stop….ever. People are always watching and will continue to take your influence as long as you continue to be relevant and are demonstrating something that is worth passing on.
As we went around the room we discussed how your can have more than one mentor and that you can gain perspective from people you know that have strengths in areas that you want to develop. Mentoring is a 2 way street, you give and you take from those around you.